Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Because men hate marriage


This may seem like a very obvious reason for women to read romance novels.

In the romance novel, the men crave marriage. They want the stability of a home life, they want to have children with one woman and hold her close all their life as they raise all their children together. He wants to be a great father to his kids while supporting her as a great mother. And most of all he wants to have lots of fun with her, his chosen mate, as they go through their life together.

But look a little closer.

In the real world, men assert they hate marriage. They make this claim, even though they invented marriage, live longer if married and have a deep fear of any woman who doesn’t want to be married.

Women know men want to be married. This is understood from a very early age. Women appreciate this and enjoy it as an idea, despite the fact that it shortens their life, because marriage largely asks that they do very little with their body (except have babies) or their minds (except manage high level stress). The ‘deal’ women accept very early on, is that they will accept marriage and pretend it’s their idea, if they are looked after while in it.

However, what women don’t work out for a long time, is that the man will continue to claim that he does not want to be married, even in the face of overwhelming contentedness and all the evidence that his life is far better for it.

PRIOR to marriage, his protestations made her look very cool because he was headed down the aisle despite his absolute, resolute, detesting of the institution and his promise all his life to everyone in a ten mile radius that he will never ever get married.

But once married, if he continues to say he hates marriage, it now looks like her charm, her ‘special something’ was not able to convince him of the joy of being married TO HER.

She starts to resent the bargain she made initially.

In romance novels, there is no pretence. The men are dying to get married, and more often than not, have to talk the women into it. This happens because, for women it represents reality and is far more honest. The men admit they want to be married, confess it to their mates over beer in a bar, and have convoluted conversations in their heads about how to best talk her into marriage.

Men in romance novels know that all men want to be married; but even if that weren’t true, and their mates didn’t want marriage, they would tell the world anyway, just because they’re honest.



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