Friday, April 24, 2009

Because men have disproportionately large egos

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The size of the average male ego is beyond rationality, accomplishment or limits. It has nothing to do with his achievements, status or physical appearance.




When men and women are in a relationship, any newsworthy fact he picked up before her will be imparted in such a condescending manner that the woman soon learns to dread the moment when something comes up that he knows that she doesn’t. The reverse is not the case, of course. Anything a woman knows will be offered in good faith, though usually rejected no matter how accurate.




In the relationship, the woman bucks up the man’s self esteem because she can see the frightened little boy behind the bragging. However, men are generally too stupid to see this, and instead start to believe her encouraging words to such an extent that he starts to wonder what he is doing with her.




He is so marvellous. How on earth did he settle for her?




Instead of realising she is being generous, a man will assume her compliments are based in impartial observation and are obvious to everyone else. He will start to look around at what other kind of girl he can get. If another girl smiles at him (as they inevitably will, because another woman’s partner has been seduced by her special certain something) he will draw the conclusion that he is wasting away in the foolish relationship that is stifling him and preventing his potent sperm from even distribution.




If a man does achieve something, like repair a broken car, win a high level sports meet, or get a promotion at work, he will immediately assume his partner is holding him back from greatness, and that he needs to lose the shackles so he can fly. He never, ever sees that her support is the reason for, or at least partner to his success.




In romance novels, if any hero has a disproportionate ego, he is headed for a fall from grace that will have him recognise once and for all the humbling might of being fortunate enough to enjoy the support of his woman. And he always learns his lesson in humility and he never forgets it.



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4 comments:

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  2. [...] In fact, the length and breadth of evidence that men are willing to ignore in favour of their assumptions is nothing short of astonishing. If she’s out with friends and she accidently bumps into him, he will assume it was deliberate, even though he had told no one where he was going that night. If she’s polite, she’s coming on strong; if she’s rude, she’s angry and frustrated that he won’t sleep with her; and if she ignores him she’s obviously burying her real feelings and anyone can see through it. [...]

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