Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Because men think the relationship "high" is supposed to last forever

jeans hole

Ask any man if you think it is a good investment to buy a new car, and usually they will tell you that it isn’t because the cars value will drop as soon as you drive it out of the showroom; you’re better to buy a one-year-old-car, gain your benefits  and not lose your money.  

Ask most men who have been on many overseas trips if they still feel the initial buzz when they wander around the city streets of an unfamiliar town, and they will tell you with no small amount of pride about how clever they are at finding their way around and how wonderful it is to have the benefits of being a seasoned traveller.

Ask a man how he feels about his socks with holes, the faded jeans that still fit like a glove, the old track suit pants he’s had for ten years, or his high school football jersey and he will tell you nothing on the planet will make him part with them.

However, men do irrationally insist that their wife or girlfriend stay fresh, flawless and above all young, forever.

Here is the bitter, ugly truth. Sex is just a normal bodily function. It is not the big dramatic height of romance, stimulation and thrill that men insist it is. If sex requires constant external stimulation in order for it to exist, then your problem is not outside of yourself.

If you grow tired of a certain restaurant, you don’t say “It’s my wife. I will leave her and go to that same restaurant with a younger woman, and that will fix the restaurant.” If you are sick of the same old music, you don’t say “It’s my wife. I will throw her away and get a new younger woman and listen to the music with her and I am sure the music will be much better.”

The new is just a temporary distraction from the old problem.

A man can trick himself into believing this lie (more on this later) in order to avoid actually having to do any work on his own psychic self, but eventually he will leave the new woman when she is too ‘old’ and shrug his shoulders and say “I’m just  man.”

In romance novels, if a couple are not enjoying their sex life, they do something about their sex life, in the same way they would switch apartments if their home had gotten too small for them. They don’t expect sex to remain the same as it was when they were teenagers, and they are grateful for it and embrace the exciting new frontiers sex together will bring – Or they will introduce new people as a couple to their bed if they want.  The point is, they don't throw out the relationship, they just fix the sex.



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