Friday, May 01, 2009

Because men think if they lie enough it will eventually become the truth

Lie Detector

Men have a very complicated relationship with honesty.

For a start, it has many layers. There is the 'white lie' (the lie you run your life by), the lie you know is wrong but you think you can get away with ( the lie you run your life by) and the lie that will take you to jail - that you still try to get away with.

Mostly, this is because maintaining the facade of masculinity is so difficult. Most of the defining criteria of what it takes to be a 'man' is at its best beyond the reach of any real human being, or at its worst a cover up for laziness, so men have a very tough time having to keep the balance between being a 'man' and being a fully functioning human being.

The best way to achive this, is to lie. But remember, these are all 'white lies'.

Because every man knows that so many people do get away with their lies, he is constantly tempted to persevere with this practise. Men will tell their lover they didn't cheat on her, no matter how many times he actually did - even if she caught him in the act - over and over till she starts to doubt her own eyes rather than evidence. A man will lie to the government very happily because he doesn't want to be the idiot doing the right thing when everyone else (read other men) are all getting away with 'it'. Men will lie to the police about the place they were, the time they were there and any knowledge of what took place, and if the police continue to question and mount overwhelming evidence, the men will simply stop talking so that they have no testimony.

They live in a world where everything is fabricated, so one more lie won't matter, won't be noticed and won't affect them. In the end, the lies become truth, in that the man telling them can't tell anymore that they are falsehoods. As with most aspects of how he defines himself, he's come to believe his own mythology. But have pity. It's very difficult for a mere human to live up to the notion of what it is to be male, so one resorts to distortions in the absence of any other possibility.

In romance novels, the men are ususally not 'human', not from this time period, or sociatal missfits. In this way, the writers can create 'real men' and deal with the facts, which is no man can actually be a 'real man' - and this is why intelligent women flock to them.

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