Saturday, May 16, 2009

Because men think that giving a woman what she wants is selling out

business people

For a man, doing anything that is asked of him is tough. It’s very important that he never be seen to be doing what he is told. For some reason that defies any kind of rationality – he needs to be seen to be doing his own thing – which of course is the opposite of what he has been asked to do.

This goes as far as the boss, traffic signs, the details on the tag in his clothes about how to clean his shirts and police officers. However, nowhere is it more important to be disobedient, than to his wife or girlfriend.

This is primarily because he thinks of a woman in this position as his mother, so if she makes a suggestion that will lead to their future happiness, rather than think rationally about what she is proposing, he will feel instantly that his mother is telling him what to do, and he will act in an opposing way, regardless of how good an idea it is.

In fact, it is so important, that it has become one of the keystones of the recognition of masculinity. Again, because there are no biological ‘masculine’ traits, they have to be invented. And “I’m not doing it just because you said” is one of them.

Women are slowly working this out, and they allow petty rebellions in order for the man to feel that his masculinity is not under threat, so that she can win some points with the larger issues. She’ll nag over him refusing to cut the lawn, but if he MUST be defined by the opposite of whatever she says, better that than running around after other women.

In romance novels the men are able to think carefully about things that on the table in front of them without it threatening their masculinity. They are made of stronger stuff, and can agree to something without feeling as though they are less of a man. This is very unusual and refreshing to a woman, so the most intelligent of them will flock to the romance novel to get to know these kinds of men better.

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