Saturday, May 02, 2009

Because women are committed to keeping women down

young women sitting on sofa and chatingAs we've seen before in these posts, women are very good at 'being there' when one of their friends are in trouble. They will listen to a friend in need and support them and give them warm advice; but most of all, they will validate whatever their suffering friend is feeling or going through about the entire experience.

On the surface this looks to be a nice thing to do. But as we have also seen, the surface is rarely where the real stuff happens.

What this generosity does, is keep women dumb. Instead of challenging friends, competing with them to do better and injecting a little healthy rivalry to make each other stronger (as men will do) women will placate each other, make huge allowances for any weakness, and encourage each other to 'indulge' in order to validate their own weaknesses. In other words, women encourage weakness in each other as a form of self defence. This is a way of protecting themselves against their friends success. It also ensures they never have to actually achieve any of their own.

Deep inside her, it is a relief for a woman to hear her friend is down today, or can't handle her kids, or feels fat. Competition is so fierce and so negative amongst women, that they relish, almost as if it were a boost to their own self esteem, the bad days of their friends. This isn't malicious - they don't want to see their friends genuinely hurt - this is about being better than their friends.

Women are fraught with insecurity but they are also merciless when it comes to survival of themselves. For this reason they will give each other 'permission' to have bad days, move backwards in their goals and not fulfil their own intentions because they prefer their friends  to remain stuck rather than have an experience of luck or good fortune.  Where a man would never get sympathy from another man for having a hangover, a woman will tell her friend she's entitled to the odd night of excess, and encourage her to take the rest of the afternoon off.

Nowhere is this better seen than in mothers and daughters and mother and daughters in law. The inter-generational women will do everything they can to undermine the success and and strength of other generations. (more on this later)

In romance novels if a woman experiences jealousy of a friend, she will confess it and make note that it is interfering in her friendship with another woman. The other women won't light up with glee at the confession of such an embarrassing weakness, but will show concern and work with her friend to encourage strong self esteem. Intelligent women read romance novels to have a break from female competition which makes male competition look like gentle bike ride on a pleasant day.

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