Thursday, June 04, 2009

Beause men operate in packs

group of usual people

Every silver lining has a crowd.

The pleasures of misogyny always need a crowd. It’s more difficult in the ‘one on one’ because you can be tempted away from stereotypical masculinity by feelings, common sense and rationality. It usually takes mob behaviour to conform to unnatural standards so that one is able to hype on the momentum of a group. Where you would think twice if you were alone, in a group you can be universally stupid.

This is the primary reason ‘nights with the boys’ were invented. Where women will get together purely to bitch about the one missing friend, or complain about their lives; men need to get together to remind themselves how to be a man. It’s only in the presence of other men, that men can truly ‘liberate’ their masculinity. You wouldn’t have thought it would be that hard – but it is.

Nights with the boys usually involve doing things that no sane rational man would ever do if he actually had a say or a choice in the matter. On boys nights, the men can drink, swear, watch football and look at strippers. Usually before the men can act ‘naturally’ they need a great deal of alcohol and many hours telling dirty jokes, sports anecdotes and teasing each other mercilessly, to try to get the adrenaline going. It’s only with that rush, that men can do the things that are so against their nature.

The design of the boys night is to reaffirm stereotyped masculinity. It serves no other purpose because getting intellectual with your mates is ‘gay’ while gathering around and watching porn tougher is ‘straight’. Sex, and the denigration of it, must hold pride of place, because somehow this has been decided to be an affirmation of heterosexuality, while discussing it with your girlfriend (and actually enjoying it with your girlfriend) has become a symbol of homosexuality.

In romance novels men may get together for a little male bonding but it is more about reminiscing, strategising about work or hearing alternate points of view on issues. Usually friendships have a purpose other than egging each other on to anti social behaviour. The REAL men of romance novels wouldn’t ever think of using intensely destructive behaviour to affirm a masculinity they ground deeply within themselves and never feel insecure about.


1 comment: