Monday, June 29, 2009

Because men hate divorce


The best trick the devil ever pulled, was getting the world to believe he doesn’t exist – Keyser Soze

Men hate divorce, and this should come as no surprise seeing as they invented marriage and marriage was made for their comfort.

What is astounding, though, is that up until very recently, men actually did nothing to help maintain their marriages. It was simply felt that if you had signed the paper that you were obliged to stay. In other words, the work stopped once they had tricked the woman into being married.

And of course, as we have seen in earlier posts, they did have to trick women into getting married. Mostly by convincing women it was their idea.

Logic would tell you, that if you want your marriage to last, you make it pleasant to stay in it. This is the most basic of assumptions about animal behaviour.

If that is the case, why do so few men work hard on their marriage? Why do so many women have to put up with no help around the house, men who humiliate them in public by openly flirting with other women – and then telling their spouse they are petty and mean for getting upset – goading and badgering the children and insisting the entire house conform to his moods and other crazy self destructive acts that defy logic.

When men complain about their wives leaving them, they are rarely interested in self examination.

In romance novels men feel extremely lucky to be married. They know marriage is a thing that they want so badly, and they cherish it when it is there. They don’t want a divorce, but what makes them so different is that they will actually go to great lengths to make sure it doesn’t happen.



  1. Wow, excellent! You said what I couldn't find the words too. But that's it, men complain about divorce but rarely do anything to try to stop it. They think they are slick and in charge within the relationship, building up resentment in their wives and then act dazzled when shes had enough and splits!

  2. [...] There are some little traces of the past that we strangely insist on taking with us, however. And one of those is the lies that men tell. [...]

  3. [...] really have to ask, is there a man alive that will be engaged in sex with a woman he’s attracted to, and stop, reverse, and leave the room if he gets to undressing her and finding out she hasn’t [...]

  4. Actually, I left my wife because she wouldn't examine our marriage or herself. Marriage is not an endurance sport, and there is no reason to hang in there if it's been stagnant for years.

    That's not to say you shouldn't fight to UN-stagnate it, but plenty of women aren't interested in lifting the lid and looking at what really makes them tick -- which is why the read romance novels rather than dealing with their lives.

  5. I agree entirely. Escapeism in all its forms: romance novels, watching sport, self medicating with alcahol, obsessing over the kids, shopping, buying the latest toys - are all ways to avoid dealing with life.
    Romance novels are no different to the other things that both sexes do to escape their day.
    A little escapism is ok. Its the complete indulgence in these things that worries me - no matter what they are.
    However, Romance novels are seen to be more low brow than most other forms of 'veg out' entertainment, and that shouldnt be the case. Watching a football match has no more integrity than reading the latest Sophie Kinsella novel.
    Sorry about the end of your marriage, but congratulations on chooseing short term pain over long term denial! very brave!
    thanks so much for your great comments
    you are welcome here any time.