Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Because men think farting is funny

BAD IDEA - Funny Business Guy Head Shot , Isolated on White

Ok, I do get the joke. 

It makes a funny noise; it makes a horrible smell that offends everyone.

It’s great.

When your 12.

What is the deal with still giggling at farts when you’re in your 50’s?

 I can even understand the desires of people who like to fart to cause offence. As a weapon of mass anti social destruction it is excellent. There is not much that has more impact, is as effective or as easy to produce as a fart, if you’re looking to offend the greatest number of people around you as possible.

It’s the giggling as if it’s the first one you ever heard that is the difficult part to understand.

Then there are the rules around farting.

If you’re with your mates and you are about to, you are obliged to place backside over the face of the least alpha male in the group and gift him. If your with your girlfriend, you must always try to do one in bed under the covers so she is trapped with it, and then laugh till you cry when she tries to escape the smell wafting up from under the covers. If you’re over 60 you get a grandchild to pull your finger. If your mother does it in your presence, you express horror and outrage.... and so on. The rules around this one simple bodily function are extensive.

Women, of course, don’t know any of them except for two. Don’t do them, and pretend not to notice when someone else does one.

In romance novels farting is simply not allowed. It doesn’t happen. If it does it is rare and used usually to identify a deeply obnoxious male to the reader. Women don’t like farts and wish they didn’t exist, and for the briefest of blissful moments, in the world of the romance novel – they don’t.

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4 comments:

  1. Pretty nice post. I just found your blog and wanted to say
    that I have really liked browsing your blog posts. Any way
    I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks heaps Sarah!
    thanks for visiting and thanks a lot for commenting.
    Barbra

    ReplyDelete
  3. [...] remains one of the most exasperating things for women. When you see the child in the man emerge, and you know that there is a wounded boy underneath, all [...]

    ReplyDelete