Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Because women are secretly grateful for disasters

comforting a classmate

Women can have dull lives where not much happens.

So they LOVE it when something does. Usually, if very little has occurred, they will go to great lengths to pretend something has happened, or exaggerate the effects of some other event, like the dog having puppies or the onset of spring.

Women need personal and social disasters to feel as though they are useful. Without reasons to ‘nurture’ the average woman who has not found another way to make her day very productive, is bound by having to nurture everyone. Sometimes, even at work, a woman will search for personal dramas so she can legitimise her reason for being there.

For this reason, if someone had a fight with their spouse that morning, a woman will take the aside, ask them questions, check if they want to talk about it, let work go, not answer the calls, refuse the call of the boss into the office – all in the name of helping out the person who is in crises.

This works better with faux disasters than actual ones. For example, an unknown disaster illness is much better than a diagnosed actual disaster illness. Women are far more able to milk the unknown than actually milk a serious disaster; there is too much distraction from the pleasure of enjoying the attention if you’re really ill. That’s why the smaller disasters get embellished.

If a woman does her work well, she will be able to have one of these most days of the week, or at least once a week. Each disaster will be treated seriously and each will be given a disproportionate amount of attention.

In romance novels women are very busy taking care of actual disasters to invent distracting smaller ones. They’re looking forward to the time when they don’t have any more disasters and they can relax. Women can feel happy and busy at the same time because there is so much going on there is no need to fake something to do.

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