Thursday, June 11, 2009

Because women won't have fun in bed


A bad tool blames her workman

Women can’t seem to let loose in the bedroom. Now it is true that some can, and women have come a long way in this area and deserve some credit for that, but there are still many wives blaming their husbands  - or worse the ‘differences’ between the sexes – for why they don’t want to do it.

We’ve seen here before that women have to take responsibility for their own love lives, but there is really no more excuse now that we have Sex and the City brandished across our televisions virtually twenty four hours a day (and these are re runs) and have done for the last ten years.

Women are allowed to enjoy sex now. It’s no longer taboo. So why are so many of them hanging on to their headaches and trying to claim it’s just not for them?

Women do have trouble taking responsibility for what they want in life. But this doesn’t really fit that category because often they simply don’t want it. They have taught themselves to hate it as an act of revenge on a husband not living up to some ideal or they have just given up on the effort of taking the time to pleasure yourself. Or maybe they just still think it’s dirty.

In romance novels, there is infinite permission to enjoy sex. In fact, in erotic romance, it is enjoyed in many different ways and from the woman’s point of view. Women are pandered too intellectually, the books taking them places they’d only thought about in their wildest fantasies. When you are looking at your own deepest darkest desires splayed out on the page in different ways, it’s hard not to be grateful and devoted to the industry that brought it to you. Think of men and porn.



  1. Well, given the pervasiveness of porn and porn culture, can you blame us for wanting/needing a space to feel that we *can* let loose and *will* be considered the quintessential lover/fantasy of a man?
    The only ones who look like porn stars, movie stars, centerfolds, and whoever else are the objects of mens' desire this hour are porn stars, movie stars, centerfolds, and models. Not us 'regular' girlfriends/wives. So yeah, we read romance novels. Everyone wants to be wanted.

  2. I totally agree Alices! his blog is meant to be sort of a funny quirky twist on the things that define" us as male abnd female. the intention is more to highlight the fact that for every sterotype there is a deeper issue and for every broad brush stoke there are as many who don't fit the mould as do fit it.
    I also want to poke fun at the things that define us as male or female.
    thanks so much for your post.