Monday, July 20, 2009

Because men are so needy


You know what’s really going on when men hit on women the way they do don’t you?

Because women are foolishly easily flattered, they fail to see exactly why men hit on them so easily and so often. Men say – because it helps the scenario work better- that they hit on women because of sex. We’ve seen in earlier posts that this myth is not the reason at the heart of the matter.

The truth is, men are afraid every minute of every day of their life, and they hit on any woman in a ten mile radius to tell them they are safe and that if worst comes to worst, the girl in the cafe that flirted with them likes them and he can always run away and start again with her.

That is what is really at the basis of all the times the men flirt with women around them. After a time, men will flirt with any woman in their company. They’ll flirt with women they would never have looked at in their life under normal circumstances, if she is the only woman in the office and if she has been there long enough.

One of the problems in the interaction between men and women is that women are looking to run away from themselves as well, so when a man flirts with them, they immediately form an attachment, thinking he’s going to get them off the hook as well.

Men end up feeling utter disdain for the woman they’ve formed a mild attachment to, as soon as she displays any kind of weakness, need, or dependence on him. In fact, this is the most terrifying thing for a man of all; that he may have to be responsible for the woman he’s creating something with.

If you think about it, this makes sense. He’s out to escape and he needs this brief interlude to be about freeing him from whatever it is that has made him afraid. If she tries to solidify it in any way, unless he is looking for marriage, he will run a mile and flirt with the next girl who won’t try to pin him down. Especially if he’s already married to someone else.

In romance novels the men are needy, but they are not dependant. They can look after themselves perfectly and they know this. When they run from their own fears into the arms of a woman it is only so she can heal with the soul of who she is, not so she can fix any problems and free him from having to do it. Women love to be the muse for his healing – and that’s why intelligent women read romance novels.



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