Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Because men won't talk

Businessman gagged

You don’t need a thousand words to get the picture

Men don’t like to talk. This is an issue that drives women mad. Not because they are desperate to know what genius lies behind those silent soulful eyes, but more because men will usually be withholding conversation as a way of dominating their women.

It’s no secret that keeping quiet makes you look a lot smarter than speaking out incorrectly. In the case of men, 9 times out of 10 this is masking an inner void. An expanse so empty it rivals the annals of space for it length and breadth. Silence in this case is golden. It prevents any woman finding out for sure what all women suspect. (Better to say nothing and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt)

That there was nothing there to begin with.

Another reason men don’t talk is that they can’t. They have very little capacity for forming sentences – remember they weren’t very good in English at school – and can hardly put their ideas into proper coherent sentences. When their woman wants to talk about love, poetry, art, or even his or her day, he will be running the football scores through his head (a la homer Simpson).

Women do suspect that there is nothing going on in that cute head of his, which is why they have convinced men that the worst thing in the world to do to a woman is not talk to her. You see, if she convinces her man that she hates it when he is silent, she is almost guaranteed to receive the silent treatment.  Life is just not that interesting, or he can’t think of anything interesting to say about it.

Of course, given the right circumstances, you can’t get a man to stop talking. Ask him about the women he slept with before he met you and there is an endless stream of animated conversation coming your way. Ask him how the car works and he’ll take you through it, including instruction. Ask him how to ski or play tennis and you will grow old and die sitting through the answer. In short, ask a man a question where he gets to show off in the answer and you’ll have him talking all night.

In romance novels, men always take to their women, but they just for as long as it takes to give an honest and succinct answer, embrace your day and his, or talk overt a new idea. Then he will happily wrap his arms around you, and cuddle up for a quiet night in front of the television.

If that’s what you want.

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