Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Because women expect too much from men

a beautiful young woman with white blouse thinks

There is a fundamental disconnect in the way men and women relate to each other and to the way the myths about men and women play themselves out, and fundamentally this has always hurt women more than it has hurt men, although  it is catching up with men these days as well.

It used to go like this:

Men said they were one thing. That is provider, protector, obsessively faithful, chivalrous, and generous and they always put themselves after their family.  Women would fall for it, fall for them, and fall in love; ultimately get married and then after a lot of soul searching and self blame and a lot of not doing much, women find out the man will never behave the way she thought he was meant to.

The women are supposed to be just a few simple things – faithful, look after the man and look after the children. If they can do these simple things, they are successful in his eyes and everything else is a bonus. However soon the woman finds that she is expected to provide so much more; She is also meant to build his flagging self esteem, she is also supposed to be able to manage the finances and she is also supposed to be able to stand up for the family when it comes to crunch time she is meant to be beautiful and young looking into her seventies and she is expected to keep a superhuman grace and charm always under all circumstances.

Women find out, All too soon, that the expectation s they had of men are impossible to realise and the expectations placed on her are only half of the story.

The most foolish thing of all, is at the point a woman finds she has been duped she will go through her mid life crises – leave her man and her children – and run off with another man. As if HE is going to be any different. And herein lies women’s fundamental basic problem.

IN romance novels the men live up to all expectations. Somehow they manage to be completely alpha, a little bit obsessive (about their woman of course) and powerfully driven by whatever is important to them. Hence the intelligent womans’ deep love.


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