Sunday, August 09, 2009

Because women need to talk into the wee small hours about nothing

Young couple Man and woman talking in bed

“Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.” Friedrich Nietzsche

Why is it that women need to have long talks about non specific things when you’re ready to go to bed? Why do these talks usually last hours?

Nietzsche is on the right track here. Women talk to hide things.

 Men don’t talk, and reveal everything that they think they’re getting away with;  Because men don’t hide things well at all, and because they don’t know that they can’t hide anything, they don’t understand what is going on when a woman says “How do you feel about us?” at half after midnight when you’ve just had hot sex.

Women can read men very well (that’s partly why they’re so angry so much of the time) and they can sense what is going on inside their man when they are making love. Women get frightened that men can sense things about them as well when they make love (of course most men aren’t trained in this and they can’t – but women aren’t aware of that) and the best way to find out how much he knows is to talk about it.

She asks how you really feel about your relationship because she’s not really that sure of the relationship and she wants to know you are, so she can rely on that strength.

The real problem here is that a woman shouldn’t be looking to her man for guidance in this area. She needs to take responsibility for her own feelings. If she’s unsure of the relationship, it may not be the right one for her. She needs to take control, rather than talk her way into an acceptance because she works them both up into a loop conversation at three am that tricks them both into confessions of happiness because each is too tired to keep going any further.

In romance novels women are sure. They are rock solid sure they are with the right man, because she has usually chosen him properly and because he is clear that she is his choice. Ambiguity, guilt and ‘waiting-for-something-better-to-come-along’ don’t exist because lovers choose each other with power and commitment. ‘You are every lover I have ever had and every lover I will never have’ is their creed. Therefore, after a night of hot sex, they fall asleep in each other’s arms at great peace knowing they revealed their true selves in their love making.



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