Saturday, December 19, 2009

Because men are looking for their mother

“It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.” Helen Rowland

Freud taught us this one. We now know all about the man and his quest to turn his wife back into his mother.

Men want a mother in a wife. This is why they have so much trouble making love to the women they marry. They turn a wife into their mother as fast as they possibly can.

Often it’s the mother-meshed-men who won’t settle down. They refuse to give up sex addictions or playing the field primarily because they’ve accepted no one will ever come close to the perfection of their mother and all the other women of the world are just for games.

However, if you have a mother enmeshed man as a husband, he will try to make you his mother.

Men will often marry a woman who they’ve decided is like their mother. But even if she’s not, as soon as the new woman is on the scene in a permanent way, she is expected to look after him physically.

But that’s not all a mother does is it?

She also has to nurture you. She has to make your problems more important than her own. She has to pretend she has the deepest interest in whatever crises you are having and that whatever is on her mind is of no importance at all. She has to embrace your projects and support you in them, after she is launching you into the world. It’s a good reflection on her if you do well, so it is her job to ensure you have all you need to succeed.

This is what men expect of their wives. However, sometimes they want to mould you – just as they did to their own mother. Sometimes they want to play Henry Higgins to your Eliza Doolittle. However, one thing is for certain, they have a great deal of trouble seeing you as something separate than that holiest of holy women – the creature that gave birth to him.

After all, she did a remarkably good job of that didn’t she? She deserves to see him be a huge success.

In romance novels, men never see the heroine as his mother. If she is the kind of woman who wants to support t him and provide those womanly nurturing type supports he will accept it with gratitude, never taking it for granted. However, for the most part, the heroines in romance and erotic romance aren’t that kind of gal.


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