Sunday, December 20, 2009

Because men need to reinforce their masculinity all the time as if it were going to dissapere

“The tragedy of machismo is that a man is never quite man enough.” Germaine Greer

We are told all the time that men and women are different.

We are told that this difference is a genetic one, and that while conditioning may have something to do with it, primarily it is a difference in our wiring that makes men men and women women.

Why then, is masculinity so fragile that it needs to be reinforced all the time?

One is barely able to have any sort of conversation without someone in the group piping up that ‘boys will be boys’ and that you have to expect men will behave in a certain way. Men constantly need ‘nights out with the boys’ so they can be men together.

They need fast cars, football, scantily clad women on the covers of magazines and the third page of every newspaper, violent movies, petty daily competitions and the list goes on. All the time, hundreds of small devices must be injected into an average day to help a man feel more like a man.

Of course, you may shout out that men like these things because they are men, and that is what is making them gravitate toward certain types of activities.

However, take a closer look. It’s the way that each of these machismo generated activities make him FEEL. And each makes him feel more like a man. Or rather, they remind him what it feels like to be a man.

Masculinity needs constant reassurance, as if it were going to fade with the next strong wind. Huge amounts of effort expended keeping men men.  Otherwise, there is a fair chance they will just turn into ordinary human beings like the rest of us.

In romance novels the men are fictional and therefore miraculously one hundred percent men all the time. However, when a woman writes the perfect man, she writes his flaws into his character. No man is an island in romance and erotic romance, and each needs his woman to rescue him from himself. Women love these novels because machismo is nowhere to be seen and the men are vulnerable and open to love and relationship, just as they are being one hundred percent man.

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