Saturday, December 19, 2009

Because women both love and hate everyone in their world



One of the things that makes it very difficult for men in their interactions with the women that they love, is that women change their mind all the time about how they feel about the people in their life.

This would not be such a bad thing, if she was willing to let her guy off the hook if he couldn’t keep up. But this is rarely the case. He is expected to interpret from her heavily detailed account of the flow of events during the day, what her position is on the behaviours of a person that, (just because they’ve been friends for twenty years) is not protected from her judging eyes.

The trick is which side of the coin to go with when trying to converse.

Women know clever little tricks when they talk to each other to gauge where their girlfriend is as she’s telling you a story about another person. No woman would ever assume she knew – she’d make comments like:

“Wow – how did that make you feel?”

Or

“Gee, I don’t know how I would feel after hearing that.”

This way she can tap into what her friend wants to hear and offer her the validation she is really after at this time.

However, a man who does not know these tricks can’t hope to get it right. He’s left wondering why she’s telling him the story if she got so upset when he asked

 “But she was your new best friend just yesterday. How could you have not seen this aspect of her personality when you talked to her then?”

Or

 “Huh? You hated her last week. What were you even doping out with her today?”

A woman’s opinion will change all the time, but don’t expect her to take that into consideration when she is relating the particular mood of the day. She will tell her tale with as much emphasis when she is friendly as when she is venomous and simply expects you to be able to keep up.

This problem is multiplied many times over when she’s dealing with her mother.

In romance novels the men rarely misunderstand, and if they do, it is to prep the reader for an impending breakup, or some sort of discovery that will have our heroine find that he was an evil man intent on hurting her all along. This will serve to clean her slate and prepare her for the real hero who will never, under any circumstances, misinterpret her position on any given day.

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