Monday, January 18, 2010

Because women think gossip is justifyable

It is true. I this area I can't defend my sex. Women do think that gossip is pleasurable and enjoyable. And the juicer, and the worse the person who is not present looks – the better.

So what are women doing when they gossip together like this?

Women taking with love and respect about a person who is not present is not always gossip. Sometimes it is two friends who are genuinely not sure what to do talking about something or someone who is near and dear to both their hearts. Sometimes it is information sharing.

And sometimes it is to delight in the ugly details of another person’s life to have a certifiable 'win” over them in life. We have talked before her how women are so deeply competitive. It is a competitiveness that drives them to gossip in a nasty way about other women and other men. By the way – don’t think this is about other women. This is all about getting under the fa├žade and taking affirmation from others failure. Men are not t all safe from the virulent attack of the bored unhappy woman.

And here in lies the secret behind gossip. Bored and unhappy women will gossip not to drag others down but to elevate themselves. That is what gossip is all about and that – at the end of the day – is the mystery behind those magazines as well. Those stupid gossip mags that everyone “knows” is not true... but what they are revealing to you is the power of gossip.

Gossip has the power to make something true by simply stating it and then looking for the evidence. How often do you see (what we call in Australia – tall poppies) people dragged down by those mags, and then a few months later you find the mags were right. Well it’s not that the mags knew something – or maybe they did. What you are seeing is the power of gossip.

In the past the will behind gossip has destroyed people. We rubbish it, but the truth is, it has a great deal of power.  That is why women cling to it, because of the power it wields. Just as men have to give something up to stop being “beer guzzling jock assholes” (quote from the film Heathers) so women have to give up the power of being “chardonnay sipping label wearing bitches” before gossip will have seen the end of its days.

We have all felt the sting of gossip. We all know the venom in its tail.  When women give this up, and only when they give it up, will it lose its power.

In romance novels, women don’t gossip, ever. This is because every woman no matter who she is, deep down knows that gossip is a false power and prefers to think that in a perfect world she wouldn’t be gossiping. You all need to know, men and women alike, that women deep down wish they didn’t gossip, and in romance novels – the perfect world according to women – it never happens.


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