Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Because women use men to avoid the complexities of being an individual

So silent I when Love was by

He yawned, and turned away;

But sorrow clings to my apron-strings,

I have so much to say.

Dorothy Parker

Women use men.

It’s true. The thing that men complain about endlessly that we have argued about for millennia does happen.

Women use men.

They use men to offer them a life that they are too afraid or too lazy to create for themselves.

Women believe that staying home and baring his children is enough of a trade-off for him to fulfil all their hopes and dreams – which while we’re at it, have never been properly thought out or properly articulated even to herself.

The opportunity that women are looking for when they jump into a relationship is that they will actually have a life now. The intension is that the man will give them excitement and money and fulfilment, and in exchange for this, she will be faithful and bear him children.

It was never a fair exchange and it was never a fair swap. And even though it is an idea men created to prevent their women from gaining a life and therefore being easier to be controlled, I think if you spoke to any man today about this issue, he will agree wholeheartedly and say it is TERRIFYING when a woman wants you to be their very breath and life.

It is also, of course, inappropriate and way too much to ask of any human being.

This, ladies, once and for all, is why you want to commit so fast and this is why he runs a mile as soon as you want commitment. Ask yourself why you want commitment? Is it him? Or is it an image that you have of yourself out at parties and other social gatherings showing off the ring?

In romance novels women still use men for this but the men are so exciting and so desperate to share that with someone – anyone, but preferably a woman they’re in love with – that this is not an issue that comes up. However, even in the perfect dream world of the romance novel, women paint themselves as feisty and with a full and rich life of their own. The real world may be too scary to face, but one thing is for sure, women wish they had the courage to face it.


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