Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I'm not talking here about the women that go back to men who beat them when they share children. That is a whole other pathology; that is one of mutual pain and suffering.

I am talking here about the women who break up with their boyfriend who, for example cheated, or abused her in front of her friends, or generally treated her like crap.

When you break up with someone, there is an intimacy that has been broken. It is over. There is a crushing moment of realization that can last for hours or days. This is a feeling that must be endured, because you were intimate with that person. Even if they don’t admit it, or say it isn’t happening to them as well, they are going through it, and it is an inevitable aspect of separation.

As I said above, this moment must be endured. This is the moment you are most likely to get the phone all, the invite to the pub for a drink. Please understand ladies, that what you are doing here is going back to the man who cheated on you or who treated you like crap. Just because he is being nice to you in the pub where you’re meeting, does not mean he has changed. In fact, it is far more likely that if he is attracted to you in any way, he definitely has not changed, because the two of you were mutually playing off a problem you both have and will when you get together in the future.

You need a fresh man. That is called growth and moving forward, Not the same guy with a new (or worse old) set of promises that he has given up his wild ways.

Please, please, please prepare for the moment of separation anxiety. Plan to go out with friends, go away for a holiday in Paris (this is when your fuck you money is so important) or just force yourself to busy yourself out of the place that he has put you that is no good for you.

This is one of the most essential things that women can learn. How to leave a man properly who is bad for them. Do you know what the BEST thing about the powerful breakup is? You are very unlikely to repeat the mistake.

In romance novels there is simply no such thing as a breakup unless the guy is bad, and then the women will mull and be sad, but they will move on as soon as knight in shining armor shows up. Happy ever after is the creed of erotic romance novels and women just don’t have to worry about ugly things like bad breakups.

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