Saturday, March 13, 2010

Because women think flattery is more than it is.



Men, you need to know, that when you tell a woman she is beautiful, she BELIEVES YOU! I mean, she REALLY believes you. She does not think to herself.... “mmmmm... what is he after...” no! Homer Simpson is right. When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood sucking creatures that can’t get enough.

Now, women are not immune to using flattery to get what they want. They do it with their friends all the time. Tell her she looks great in jeans when she doesn’t really think her friend does, she tells them they’re a good mother, but only when they think they’re better etc. Women will use the false flattery happily and easily.

They also have an alive and thriving bullshit detector when it comes to the compliments OTHER women receive from men. If a woman tells a story about a guy she met in a bar last night who complimented her dress, a woman listening thinks a) her friend is stupid for believing said man and b) he should really see HER in that dress, and get an eyeful of what true beauty is.

I know I am being hard on my sex – but the desperately sad truth is this is how it is.

The only complement a woman believes is the one that is delivered to her. And when I say she believes it, I REALLY mean she believes it. Women do think they can bowl a man over and hook him for life with their beauty (after all women who have put a huge amount of time into their beauty rarely have more than that to offer) and they think a man can be their slave forever when he falls under her spell. So if you act as though you’ve fallen under her spell, she will believe you. What is more shocking is that you may not be under her spell. This has a lot to do with why you completely disproportionately ruin her world when you look at another woman six months later while she’s on her arm. She knows the other woman is saying t herself “Yeah! I am better than her, I’m hotter, I’m sexier and I can get her man any time.” (Because the other woman IS saying that to herself)

This is true for any attribute that you complement a woman over. If you tell her she has great taste, she will assume you have the aesthetic sensory perception of a New York gallery owner. If you tell her she is a good cook, she will assume you have the talent to be a judge on Master Chef. If you tell her she is intelligent, she will assume you have run a mental check, compared her conversational anecdotes with every other person you’ve met, compared in a detailed and fair way and she’s come out on top.

Women suck up compliments like vampires suck up blood. And if you don’t off them freely, they may very well hold you down, sink their teeth into your neck and try to extract them any way they can.

In romance novels, women are endlessly complimented in the most incredible ways. Greek gods travelling through time will chose them – not just over every other woman in the world, but also over every other woman through time. Women are absolutely worshipped by their lover usually for “just being them”.

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