Friday, April 30, 2010

Because men don't know how to be masculine and nice

For some strange reason, it was decided long ago, that masculine equals cruel. There have been many excuses put forward to defend this strange behaviour. testosterone was used till it was proven that it doesn't actually increase aggression in males. religion was used till we didn't buy the story hat god gave men and women different gifts. Biological determinism was used until we realised that creatures can drop evolved habits in a lifetime that have outgrown their usefulness.

In the end, there is no real reason why men equate meanness with masculinity, except perhaps that they have been getting away with it for so long. Of course, such a potent force has been completely done away with in three generations. Aggression now is saved for sports jocks and low socio-economic groups.

And so the truth behind this behaviour starts to emerge.

But the best ting about the death of this is that men who are not aggressive are re defining masculinity so that men can be gentle, good to the people around them and still seen as strong. Power no longer is seen as a thing that needs to be taken. it is a thing that an individual needs to earn and then it is a tool they use to get certain things done.

Cruelty is now seen as a bi product of an unresolved issue in one's childhood or a sign of inner weakness. People may be admired for it in the short-term still, but in the long-term it inspires a backhanded sympathy and embarrassment.

However, what is now emerging the man who is very nice, but a real wimp. I know this poor guy thinks his time has finally come, but I am afraid I am here to burst your bubble. We are looking for something new now, a new kind of man who is both powerful and has empathy for others. This does not give men blanket permission to just be passive receivers of life either.

In romance  novels men have always been portrayed as they are starting t emerge today. However, they are still power. They know that power is a thing that comes from inside them, not something they do to others. They never appear weak and pathetic because they are in control of themselves. This si how men have always been written in romance novels. Now that women have a voice and a choice, they are choosing more and more men who can be someone more like this.


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