Monday, April 12, 2010

Because women don't have 'Fuck You' money

You know what the fuck you money is don’t you? It’s the money that you have for the moment when you have to say “fuck you” and walk out.

When you have to say it to your boss.

When you have to say it to the bank.

When you have to say it to your partner.

You need at least enough money set aside so you can get a place for a few nights, spend a few weeks finding work, or have to suddenly close down all your accounts and cash flow is really bad for a little while. You have to have your fuck you money.

Women spend their fuck you money. They mostly spend their fuck you money on those moments when they are so unhappy (from their partner or their job or some institution that is doing them over) that they go and spend their fuck you money on stuff that might make them happy (or alcohol).

The reason this doesn’t work, is that it only serves as a temporary solution. Sometimes you just have to be able to walk away from something. And to be honest, it doesn’t hurt in life to walk away from things sometimes. It can be a really good idea to just walk away and get on with your life. Give you a whole new perspective and put all the problems back in balance.

The fuck you money is terribly important. Men tend to have the fuck you money, but women do not. And yet, it is women who are far more likely to have to use their fuck you money. Women get paid less than men (still!), and the cop the ass end of the relationship (that's why marriage cuts their lifespan and increases men’s).

The ultimate fuck you money is some retirement money. And this is another area where women traditionally have much less than men.

Until women work out that they need to take care of their own lives and organize their own fuck you money they won’t have the power and the freedom to walk away from situations that are not serving them.

In romance novels women are often in situations they have to get themselves out of very quickly, but they often don’t involve needing money. Either the hero has it and rescues them (and this is at the heart of not having the fuck you money) or they are able to walk away and damn the consequences and things “miraculously” work out. Either way fuck you money is necessary in real life, but it’s nice to read about a world where it isn’t important.


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