Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Because women read men's feelings and not their actions



One of the huge problems in the connection between women and men is the great divide over what we are honestly willing to communicate openly about.

Because men are not willing to be honest about their emotions – until they do that – women will not be able to communicate at the level they can with other women.

Men are very unskilled at emotional connection, choosing instead to deny that they have any. Because women are so skilled in this area, they can read men like a book. Women can see right through their lies, their insecurities, their falsehoods and their bravado. The problem is, they assume the insight will be gratefully received.

However, what women do not yet realise, is that men do not want to have those things revealed, and they will run a mile if they are. Men will prefer to continue the painful behaviour than go through the necessary emotional vulnerability it takes to get over them. Because women are grateful for any insights their girlfriend has to offer when discussing their favourite topic (themselves) they will do their best to self examine and grow in the face of confrontations in their lives.

This is why women go back to men who beat them. This is why women ignore cheating and infidelity, and this is why women allow men to do unspeakable things. Because they are assuming the men think like them, and that when they apologise with so much sincerity, that they have confronted themselves and are willing to change.

Women have got to stop reading men’s emotions and start reading their behaviour. If women are going to get these bad behaviours out of their lives, they have to take a stand for it, and they have to take control of the situation.

In romance novels women are treasured for their insights and appreciated for what they have to offer, because the men are written by women, so the women can have any sort of fantasy man they want.

www.barbranovac.com

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