Saturday, May 29, 2010

Because men pretend to take leadership but really don't



One of the greatest disappointments for a little girl growing up, is the day she realises that her father isn't actually in control of himself or his job and he is not what we have been brought up to belive a man ought to be.

At that point in her life she will usually start to look to other men. This is a natural process - all children have to come to terms with the fact that their father or mother aren't super heros. It is part of the natural growing up and separation process. the idea is, one goes out into the big wild world and finds the mate who can replace that idealistic vision you had of the parent.

This usually works quite well for me because they are able to turn a woman into their mother faster than you can blink an eye.

However it does not work so well for women. Women come to men, subservient, willing and completely ready to be totally dependant, adoring and faithful, only to find he does not want that in a woman. however, if she dared to act independent, strong and free, he'd get threatened and not want to see her anymore.

What women have to realise is that men want to FEEL like they are the essential one, without actually having to be the essential one. They don't want to be te real leaders, they just want to boss their women around, and feel like a big man while doing so.

Men mistake leadership for getting their own way all the time. They will pretend that when they bark opinions and orders at the woman in their life or even their children, that it is because they really know best, but most men understand that this is not accurate, and that honest and open consultation will get them further and create more solutions to any issue.  However, they don't get the satisfaction of being the one in control. And when it comes to leadership, the ego boost is really what they are after.

In romance novels, men live up to the stereotype despite the fact that it is forever out of the reach of the common man. The tragedy of machismo is that it is an unreachable star, but in the wonderful world of romance, we can dream dream dream that this sexy man exists, and in the wonderful world of erotic romance, we can make love to him. Yum.

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