Sunday, May 02, 2010

Because men still think lying is the best way out of something

“Are you going to believe what I tell you? Or what you see?” Chicago

We’ve come a long way. Really we have. Things are much better than they used to be. Women are freer now and men are freer as well. People have more chance at self-expression and really, at the end of the day, the reason we are all here is to fulfill our own destinies in peace and freedom.

There are some little traces of the past that we strangely insist on taking with us, however. And one of those is the lies that men tell.

There is still a giant disconnect between the reality of life (as in what is actually happening) and the way men and women manipulate each other around facts. But Men are much worse at women than this. As we have seen before, part of what keeps women attached to the wrong men, is they trust the things they feel going on inside the man, while men are so out of touch with intuition, they think they can lie their way through anything, forgetting they are completely transparent.

It remains one of the most exasperating things for women. When you see the child in the man emerge, and you know that there is a wounded boy underneath, all you want to do is reach out and help him get stronger. But men are too stupid to accept their own vulnerability. They will push her away, and lie about how they feel, rather than admit for just five minutes there, they were a normal human being.

Another part of this problem is that men don’t understand women (and rarely try to) and use this as an excuse to maintain habits that are bad for them, prevent them from getting what they really want, or create barriers between them and their companion. They will think they have to sneak around behind their partners back (with other women, with drinks out with the boys, with pornography or even with eating too many sweets) rather than talk it out and resolve the issue. This is partly a lack of willingness on their part to be vulnerable, but at the heart of the matter is simply a refusal to change.

Men still like to keep their partners as their mother. They still get a quiet, immature thrill from doing things their mother doesn’t know about – only they’ve replaced her with their wife.

In romance novels the men are written by women on the whole, and therefore if they ever lie, it is found out and the integrity re-established. Once they realize the error of their ways, they never lie again.


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