Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Because men wait for her to do it

Men have remarkable patience. If there is a chance they can wait long enough for someone else to get something done they will do it. Mould can grow over the top of settled coffee in cold mugs. Animal hair can lay thick and in the corners of rooms and rodents can completely decompose on the back door step before a man will take the initiative and clean the damn thing.

Often when women want to change the imbalance they sense in the housework arena they will simply “leave” something in the way of any movements so that the man they are trying to affect will eventually tire of having to work around the thing. The problem with this strategy is, men never tire of working their way around something, anything, and by that I mean anything at all, is completely better than housework, so they will go to great lengths to avoid doing any housework. Right down to changing toilet rolls or rinsing cereal encrusted plates, men will live with it, pile it up, ignore the smell and happily shoe away cockroaches for far longer than women give them credit for.

But it doesn’t stop there.

It is like this in the workplace as well. Men will avoid putting systems in place, they will avoid setting up accounts, they will avoid all the work that goes into place to ensure these jobs don’t have to be done again in a laborious fashion. Forward planning at the micro level (which of course ends up being a macro issue every time) seems to elude male sensibilities.

In the end, the woman’s idea of just waiting till he notices has never worked in my experience and as far as I can see will never work, and that is simply because of one thing. They just never notice.

In romance novels the men don’t let their own houses get to this state of disrepair unless they are suffering terrible bouts of trauma related misery, deep dark depression or are out busy fighting great battles. Anything smaller than that, and they find some way to keep their affairs managed.


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