Monday, May 24, 2010

Because women can't face Ex's

"I don't want to be friends with my Ex.

It's like a testament to your failed relationships.

For me its like 'We didn't work out, I need to never see you again."

 Miranda - Sex and the City

(This pic is taken fromthe HBO website which can be acessed here.)


If its true that men never let go - in that they always think there is 'something' between him and his Ex (like she still belongs to him really) then the opposite is also true - that women can't let go in that they feel 'affected' by their Ex forever.


Women will go to unimagined lengths to avoid bumping into ex's, from stealing party guest lists, bribing friends and faking facebook names all the way through to moving country, changing their names and lying about the birth of children. I'm not sure about you, but I think that's a little extreme.

 Now there is the issue of how annoying it is when the ex male DOES still react to you as if he owns you, and this is one reason women turn the other way at the very sight of an Ex. However its not the most prevailing reason.


For women, the repeated bumping into the Ex is the reminder that her relationship failed.


As long as women judge their self worth and take their power from their relationships, they will continue to feel as though it is a personal affront when they don't work out. They will continue to see them as failures, rather than delightful bus stops on the highway of their life.


This one strikes a chord with me. I have Ex's that I never see, I have two Ex's that I see because they have both worked really hard to calm me down so they can stay in my life and I have an Ex that I bump into endlessly who never sees me because I see him first.


Even after writing this post, even when I feel more and more confident in my life and my choices, even as I get prouder and prouder of my accomplishments, I will still hide behind a bunch of lowers in the local grocer when I next spot that particular Ex walking down the street toward me.


So maybe I'm wrong about the reasons? Maybe we just don't want to stand in front of someone whose seen us naked?


In romance novels Ex's are usually done away with in convenient ways because they are always, without exception, evil beyond compare. Come to think of it, If you heard me discuss my Ex's in public, you'd probably think they were all evil beyond compare. Maybe that's the real reason we don't want to bump into our Ex's and another reason we love romance novels so much.




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