Friday, May 21, 2010

Because women think buying something intelligent makes you intelligent

This has traditionally been a disease that affects both men and women, but these days  - and particularly this day - my sisters are going to come under the hammer for it.

Ladies, just buying the book doesn't make you smart. You have to read it too.

That goes for the classical music cd - you have to listen to it; the pair of oblong rimmed glasses - you really should need them before you buy them;  the cd's filled with advanced french lessons - it doesn't actually mean you know french till you complete the lessons.

Just as a man will buy "Being and nothingness" so that he can impress the girl behind the counter, women fall for this, but in a far more complex way. A man will go home and toss the book on the bed, feel pissed off that the female was in the loo when you bought it so the young man had to serve you, and now you're left with a copy of "Being and Nothingness" you will have to get into the bin at some point when no one is looking.

However, women will buy the book too. Not because they want to impress a guy behind the counter (every woman knows its only going to take cleavage for that) but so that she can impress everyone in the rest of her life. A woman genuinely thinks:

a) that she will read it someday (and she will never get over this)

b) and that just the choice to read it makes her more intelligent

c ) she's somehow joined the ranks of those who have read the book

d) forever stand in cues discussing it in loud tones when she has a captive audience but people have no possibility of interrupting her

She will do her research - look it all up on wiki - and then she will glance through bits and pieces of the book, keep it next to her bed and in her TBR pile for about a year or so, and eventually move it to pride of place on her bookshelf. In the future she will quote it as if she's read it, and even forget (eventually) that she hasn't.

In romance novels there is no need for women to fake intelligence as they are usually very bright (at least as bright as the writer) and their men love them so much they are thrilled to be discussing ay topic with them at all.


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