Sunday, June 06, 2010

Because women want men to change but resist change themselves

Women are experts on what their man has to do to improve himself. These snippets of advice include: Be a little kinder, spend more time with the kids, remember the anniversary and would it kill you to lose a little weight?

However, when it comes to women, very few good men would offer advice. Sure men USED to pick on their wives all the time - I don't want you to wear that you look like a whore, you're not allowed to talk to that person ever again, You're not to work while I am the provider - but for those of us lucky enough to live in the developed world this kind of 'advice' would result in a fast divorce.

But can you imagine a man offering advice to a woman over the simple daily matters? imagine these:

You should try a cooking class to improve the cooking - or we can get someone else in to cook our dinners.

You know, you should be fighting harder at work for a promotion.

Read the Huffington Post to get an alternate perspective from the talk back you listen to each day.

I read this article on thrush and I thought you might find it interesting.

Do you think you get too much pleasure from bitching about your friends?

Nope - I can't either. 

Traditionally, men have held the monopoly on the complaints about nagging. Women have defended themselves by saying is the repetition of a request not heard, or a suggestion ignored.  Another area like this is the improvement story.  Men love to complain that their wife is always on about the improvement thing. However, when I look at the opposite list of what a man might say to a woman in order to improve her, I'm struck with the idea that it's not the woman resisting this, it could be the man. Maybe its a 'nancy boy' thing to offer advice to the person you love about how to improve themselves? Still, can YOU imagine a wife who would take any of those examples and not be offended or feel that she was being picked on in some way? Women are not ready to take the advice they freely dish out.

Food for thought.

In romance novels the woman always changes and improves the man every single time. He will be changed by her forever, and so grateful for this transformation that he will give up his old ways and fall madly in love with her forever.


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