Sunday, July 04, 2010

Because a woman's expectations are forever defined by her fictitous first love



I know men are all determined to be the first love for a woman.  While I have poked fun at this in the past on this blog, there is an element of truth to the idea that if you get in very early, she will have certain feelings for you that will ruin her for all men who follow.

However, if a young man  dates her at eighteen, sixteen or even twelve, he's probably missed the boat.

It has also been said that women's fathers define the kind of man they will want when they are of marrying age.

Again, while the father may be around at the time these ideas are formed, all he will influence is the man she actually ends up with. this will not be the man of her dreams, this will be the one she settles for.

The man of her dreams is defined outside of the realms of reality. And trust me on this, his influence will never leave her psyche.

He might be a hero in a novel (read Mr Darcy, or Mr Rochester) he might be a famous actor (read Robert Redford or Jonny Depp) he might be a rock star( read Elvis or Kurt Cobain) or he may be the image of a fictitious dream man who, even in the represented image of him, may not be a real human being. The current manifestations of this are Edward Cullen and Jacob Black - but don't be fooled into thinking this is a new phenomena. Remember Frankenstein was created by twenty-one year old Mary Shelly.

Women will dream forever and a day about the fictitious first love. And the more impossible, the stronger a hold he will have over her. The sweet ordinary man she will marry, and her declarations of love in front of her family and friends, no matter how sincere sounding, will always be a nod to compromise. A woman falls head over heels in love with her secret man and the flame will never be extinguished.

In romance novels you see the proof of this over and over again. the men there are designed mostly by women, and they may be very different, but one thing they have in common is they have very little to do with reality.

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