Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Because women take revenge through sex



In the ongoing ever-present conversation between men and women, it is always the men who accuse the women of being unfaithful. Women get accused of it in a way that men don't.  I don't mean to imply women don't accuse men (they definitely do) but the way these infidelities are understood is very different.

The stigma attached to male infidelity is one of a basic understanding - well he's  a male and he can't help it.

However, when a woman does it, the stigma implies there is something intrinsically wrong with her. The story around women is muddled. Women are supposed to want sex, but love fidelity (naturally of course) or they are supposed to hate sex. Women who can't be 'caught' for example are always seen as spinsters and treated as frigid.

So, there is a special place in hell reserved for the woman who cheats on her man.

As if following on from this, women will use sex as an act of revenge. Men don't tend to do this. they will sleep with someone because they want to.  But a woman will use sex in this manner. Not all women of course, but many women will use it to pay a lover back for something that he might have done to her. And this slight can be real or imagined.

It's hard to know if the reputation came before the behaviour. But it is not difficult to work out why women do this. It is one of the few forms of power women have, therefore it should be no surprise to anyone that they will use it.  I guess if you look at it logically, women have very few avenues available to them to take revenge. Sex is one of the few areas they are granted any sort of power.

Add to this, every man being 'unable to resist' every woman, and you have a power ascribed women, that although not necessarily accurate, is still heavily set in mythology.

In romance novels women don't have sex for revenge. They have sex when they fall in love with the hero - and usually they only have sex with him, and if any one else is involved it is with the consent of both parties. If women need to take revenge out on someone they do it in more clear and constructive ways. They don't use sex as a weapon, because they have access to other kinds of power.

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