Friday, August 26, 2011

Because men insist on having loud car stereos.

There are several ways in our culture men are able to inform people of a large penis. Fortunately none of these indicators involve showing your penis. Because the only people desperate to notify everyone they have a large penis are men with small penises, you can be very sure men who employ these methods have small penises.

There are many indicators of a large (and therefore small) penis. Most of these involve the car. One of the most prevalent ways of information sharing is having a large stereo blaring as you drive through the streets.

Another one of the requisites for driving through the streets with your car stereo blazing is having bad taste in music. No lover of 70’s Kraut-Progrock loves to drive with the stereo playing loud. This seems to be exclusive to the listeners of urban or main stream hip hop. Every now and then it will be some sort of banal mainstream metal music.

The music must be so loud you can feel it. A vibration must be throbbing through the pavement under your feet.

The task here is to impress people you will never see again and convince those you will never speak to that their lives will be poorer for not having met you.

Fortunately, because you leave before confirmation, you are able to convince yourself people (women) have this experience without any sort of brush with reality.

In romance novels, this never ever happens, and that is because chicks don’t dig it. Period.


  1. LOL! This describes one of my close friends exactly. Even right down to the stupid mainstream hip hop and the need for others to thinks "my system is the loudest" he nearly convinced me to install some cheap speakers in my car but I'm into hard rock and I've heard that eats the speakers due to the soynds typical of that kind of music. That and it just seems like overkill installing a couple of junk $100 speakers just to fit in with my friend and listen for 10 minutes to some blink 182 on my way to class or work. What a waste haha

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