Saturday, September 03, 2011

Because women think they look good at 50 in the outfit they bought when 20.


This is a toughie, and even though I am not fifty, I have to confess I’ve fallen for this one.

It’s not that you don’t look good (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) more - the clothes are out of fashion now.

Oh – and we can include the fact you probably paid ten dollars for the shirt off the discount rack, took it home, looked amazing and were able to brag to everyone about how frugal you are (so frugal you purchased eight)  and bragged about your “knack” for grapping perfect clothing perfectly cheap.

You don’t have a knack.

Clothing had to be a canvas sack for you to not look good in it when you were twenty. Things are different now. You need real clothes; Protection clothing from fashion faux pas like muffin tops and cellulite.

It’s not that you’re bad, or sinful or unattractive. The problem is this: in the same way you could lose weight on a mars bar diet when you were twenty, you could wear any old crappy thing and appear stunning.

That aint the case now.

I do understand the memory thing. Those sweet cut off jean shorts your rebel biker boyfriend said “far out” in response to, when he and his friends checked you out at the drag racers that night? They are memories. 

Toss the shorts, revel in the memories, and get over it. You look better in the well cut jeans, light fashionable peasants blouse and leather jacket now anyway.

In romance novels women always fall in love with hopelessly rich men who have a clothing fetish manifesting in deep sexual pleasure from watching you shop on their credit card. No woman has to wear crappy clothing she bought when she was eighteen.

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