Thursday, September 01, 2011

Because women will wear the holidays


What’s with wearing the holidays? 

How come, as soon as the first signs of Christmas appear (in September usually) we see sleighbell earrings and Santa bracelets? 

Add to that, these things are usually flashing in some indistinguishable headache-inducing Morse code that does nothing other than make everyone run for the aspirin. Worse still are those singing jumpers and headbands. 

What is with that?

So I get festive and fun. I can do that. But I am more traditional about my decorations. 

I tend to think the tree, dining table, food, booze, presents, book shelves, pets, front door, back door, ceilings, television and every square inch of every shopping centre or solitary shop is enough for the decorations. 

Must we adorn our bodies as well? I mean the song says deck the halls not deck everything moving or still in a ten mile radius.

I’m not sure, but I think it started with Christmas – or maybe Easter, we were wearing those crosses for years – but it has now spread to absolutely everything. Hearts for Valentines day, Santa’s for Christmas, bunny’s at Easter, pumpkins at Halloween, fourth of July flags.

I mean we will now even adopt other countries celebrations just so we can wear stupid little earrings: leprechauns and pots of gold for St Patricks day and mini French berets and baguettes dangling off our ears for Bastille day.

Basically, it’s enough that we adorn every hall in existence for our holidays. We don’t need to do the jewellery as well.

In romance novels, this does occasionally happen, and that’s just sort of sad.

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