Monday, September 05, 2011

Because women will combine animal prints

Prints are tough.

Hard to get away with. Animal prints are tough work to make them work, if you get my drift.
But mixing your prints – is an act against nature.

Think for a moment. What is the animal print supposed to achieve? What is its purpose? What makes the animal print so beautiful?


Right! A Zebras stripes are gorgeous because of camouflage. A leopards spots help with hiding in trees. A tiger is supposed to be stalking in long grass, and lions want to rest under trees in sandy coloured short grass and not be noticed.

That’s right. Not be noticed.

Therefore, to use animal prints in order to BE noticed, is an act against nature and goes against our deepest biological needs and urges.

This is why, women, (and men in this sort of underwear) you find it so hard to pick up when you are wearing the zebra striped black and white faux leather dress, over the top of snake skin cowboy boots and a leopard print jacket. People see you and a deep biological urge to kill you immediately sets in. This may or may not have anything to do with your personality, but it will absolutely have a lot to do with your outfit.

Animals wear animal prints so things that want to kill them can’t see them. 

In fact, it’s so pretty much everything can’t see them. Even coral (check your earrings) is protecting itself. You will never see a lion drape a panther fur around its neck, or a giraffe drape zebra fur across its back. That’s because, in Africa and other parts of the world, their animal prints work sans accessories. And they won’t work if they mix the patterns.

In romance novels no one ever mixes animal prints or they go to romance writer’s jail. Simple as that.  It’s like writing a lover who runs off with the protagonist’s best friend and then comes back and she forgives him. It’s just never gonna happen.

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