Sunday, September 04, 2011

Because men wear man bags

What the FUCK?

Ok – now I’m not talking about cool saddle bags. I’m not talking about a dude carrying a satchle and slinging everything he transports. I’m not even talking about guys who are happy to hold their chick’s bag while she dashes to the public loo.

I’m talking about MAN BAGS. Those creepy little pouches men carry so you can’t be 100% sure they’re men.

Two very important dating rules:

1. Never date a man more good-looking than you

2. Never date a man with a better purse than you

This has got to be some sort of symbol of the crushing death of masculinity. These things aren’t just a-sexual; they are a total cold shower.

And WHAT is the deal? Those funny little pouches that men will sling around their chest and shoulders are weird enough, but what is with the little see through bathroom bag thing with no strap and no handle at all; I mean when did men’s accessories get dumber and less practical than women’s?

The ones worn around the penis area are the worst. Appalling. A pouch for the pouch. I think. I can’t work it out. Some are so small you couldn’t carry more in it than your balls. Are these things meant to carry money? Keys? Your ATM card and drivers licence. Just reach into my pocket there officer and you can pull it out?

In romance novels the women carry handbags and there is never ever any confusion about who is carrying the bag, or who the woman is. 

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