Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Because women pretend they want men when they want power.

Why are women so afraid of admitting they want power?
I mean - not to others. We have all that 'official' permission now.
Its the admission to themselves that I am thinking of. 

Here is the problem. 
Women will THINK what they want is a man, when really what they want is power. Now it doesn't matter if they guy they nab is powerful, but if he isn't, and he was only giving the illusion of being powerful (as is the case for 99% of men in the world and 100% of men who are not psychopaths) then owning and controlling him is going to be easy and - ultimately unsatisfying.

But, you see, but that time we already have kids and worried in-laws, so divorce seems too hard and you're left with only one final act to compensate for your mistake.  Nagging.

We all know it. This is one of the primary reasons women nag. Its a desire to control their mate. And of course, him being as childish as a man, the more she nags, the more he is going to ignore her or rush down to the pub with his mates. 

And so we are left with the startling reality that (unfortunately) looks like so many modern marriages, even today.

An alternative to this scenario is to identify that it is POWER that she wants. ultimately, power over herself. (if you don't think this is the case - check your sex barometer. If you are in any way attracted to a man 'taking control' in the bedroom, then you have a latent or overt  desire to be dominated) If she addresses this, and makes sure she is getting power in her own life, according to her own accomplishments and not by dominating the life out of husband and children, then miraculously she will find it doesn't matter too much that the lawn didn't get mown this weekend. Along side of this, she will find he wants to spend a little more time at home.

In romance novels women do not seek to gain power over their men. The men wouldn't stand for it anyway. But then, none of them want power over the women either, so the novels never get into that ugly tug-of-wits-war. They leave domination for the bedroom.


  1. You know what, girlfriend? I think you're right. At the moment, the last thing on my mind is a man. I was thinking today that it's a good thing I don't have one at the moment.

    Good stuff, smart post, laced with humor and common sense. :-)

  2. That's an interesting perspective. Typically when I get nagged I respond in one of three ways

    1 try to reason. I calmly assert my right to not be disrespected and don't disrespect either, while trying to make my point and asking questions about theirs

    2 more often, if I am unable to controll my emotions(more than half the time) I get angry and nag right back. "You didn't clean the front yard" "and you didn't wash the dishes. The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray neither of us are perfect so how about we quit shouting, yeah?"

    3 I shut myself out. If I'm just really drained I leave the room or even the house and just go do something else. When I return an hour later or whatever I am in my zone and ready to be productive again in whatever I was endevouring towards - but she isn't. She's infuriated that I didn't jump into the fight with her. I've tryed to find a single sociological explanation for this phenomenon but haven't had any luck so far, perhaps it doesn't even matter so much as methods of preventing it. I guess most things in life are that way haha.